Today Show on Male/Female Roles by Candice Watters on 09/28/2006 at 8:45 AM

The Today Show's segment on what men really want in a wife was partly right. Starting with the question "Do men really want wives like June Cleaver?" they said,

… men imagined the perfect mate as a passive, docile catering nurturer and women envisioned a giving, sacrificing protector. But these are fantasies! And while it may be fun to imagine — or even play out — these roles at times, they are but one of many fantasies men and women may have about their ideal partners.

With such a high divorce rate — between 45-50 percent — it's smart to seek answers to the question, "what makes a marriage go the distance." So they asked, "If rigid roles are not a good predicator of relationships' longevity, what is?"

Here's where they veered a bit. Biblical marriage is about distinct roles for men and women, but they're hardly rigid. In fact, within the boundaries of those vast and varied roles lie tremendous freedom and the key to a lifelong, committed marriage. The problem with NBC's take on "roles" is that they limit them to merely one facet: nurturer for women and provider/protector for men, and then they narrowly cast them in negative terms.

If you've ever seen a mother who fails to nurture her children and husband, you realize what a fundamental trait that is for women. Neither docile nor catering (words that better describe an insecure, immature woman), the nurturing woman is one who "feeds and protects, supports and encourages, brings up and trains, and educates."

That's a pretty ambitious job description — a mantle I'd be honored to wear and deserve.

As for describing men as giving, sacrificing protectors, those are among the very abilities I looked for in a mate. What woman wants a man who's incapable of physical strength on her behalf and the behalf of their children? And what about a man who can't earn enough to pay the mortgage or keep the lights on? That's a guy who has trouble getting dates for the weekend.

God made male and female different. Those differences aren't optional, they're fact. Whether the Today Show and our surrounding culture recognizes or embraces the differences is irrelevant because they simply are. The funny thing, though, is the longing we all have to live those differences — not in their fallen, sinful state of course, but in the way they were meant. And so, whether we recognize it or not, we strive for the redeemed version of who God designed us to be.

Even Today said, "marriages require work, commitment and self-sacrifice from both partners. Marriage based first and foremost on passion, children, or extremely time-demanding careers, tend to break up. … Once a couple understands marriage is a choice that requires effort through its ups and downs, then they have a shot at maintaining a healthy relationship."

Sounds a lot like Paul in Ephesians 5 who wrote, "Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ."

Today Show on Male/Female Roles by Candice Watters on 09/28/2006 at 8:45 AM

The Today Show's segment on what men really want in a wife was partly right. Starting with the question "Do men really want wives like June Cleaver?" they said,

… men imagined the perfect mate as a passive, docile catering nurturer and women envisioned a giving, sacrificing protector. But these are fantasies! And while it may be fun to imagine — or even play out — these roles at times, they are but one of many fantasies men and women may have about their ideal partners.

With such a high divorce rate — between 45-50 percent — it's smart to seek answers to the question, "what makes a marriage go the distance." So they asked, "If rigid roles are not a good predicator of relationships' longevity, what is?"

Here's where they veered a bit. Biblical marriage is about distinct roles for men and women, but they're hardly rigid. In fact, within the boundaries of those vast and varied roles lie tremendous freedom and the key to a lifelong, committed marriage. The problem with NBC's take on "roles" is that they limit them to merely one facet: nurturer for women and provider/protector for men, and then they narrowly cast them in negative terms.

If you've ever seen a mother who fails to nurture her children and husband, you realize what a fundamental trait that is for women. Neither docile nor catering (words that better describe an insecure, immature woman), the nurturing woman is one who "feeds and protects, supports and encourages, brings up and trains, and educates."

That's a pretty ambitious job description — a mantle I'd be honored to wear and deserve.

As for describing men as giving, sacrificing protectors, those are among the very abilities I looked for in a mate. What woman wants a man who's incapable of physical strength on her behalf and the behalf of their children? And what about a man who can't earn enough to pay the mortgage or keep the lights on? That's a guy who has trouble getting dates for the weekend.

God made male and female different. Those differences aren't optional, they're fact. Whether the Today Show and our surrounding culture recognizes or embraces the differences is irrelevant because they simply are. The funny thing, though, is the longing we all have to live those differences — not in their fallen, sinful state of course, but in the way they were meant. And so, whether we recognize it or not, we strive for the redeemed version of who God designed us to be.

Even Today said, "marriages require work, commitment and self-sacrifice from both partners. Marriage based first and foremost on passion, children, or extremely time-demanding careers, tend to break up. … Once a couple understands marriage is a choice that requires effort through its ups and downs, then they have a shot at maintaining a healthy relationship."

Sounds a lot like Paul in Ephesians 5 who wrote, "Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ."