On Being Found by Suzanne Hadley Gosselin on 09/18/2006 at 8:07 AM

I read with interest this week's article, "Get Married, Young Man" by Alex Chediak. Alex challenges men to be intentional in seeking out godly wives. He writes:

The Scriptures say, "He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord" (Prov. 18:22). So the man is said to "find" a wife, and that a wife is a good thing. The favor from the Lord part shows that, yes, God is the One who ultimately gives the wife, but it is still our job as men to be proactive in the finding process.

This made me consider how willing I am to "be found." A Christian friend recently cranked up the Natasha Bedingfield song "Single" and said, "This is our song." The first verse captures the essence of the song:

I'm not waitin' around for a man to save me.
(Cause I'm happy where I am.)
Don't depend on a guy to validate me.
(No, no.)
I don't need to be anyone's baby.
(Is that so hard to understand?)
No I don't need another half to make me whole.

I gently encouraged my friend that perhaps this shouldn't be our anthem. Such defiance toward men is not helpful or godly. The truth is, God created men and women each with something valuable to offer the other. If single women want men to find them, they need to quit playing hide-and-seek.

On Being Found by Suzanne Hadley Gosselin on 09/18/2006 at 8:07 AM

I read with interest this week's article, "Get Married, Young Man" by Alex Chediak. Alex challenges men to be intentional in seeking out godly wives. He writes:

The Scriptures say, "He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord" (Prov. 18:22). So the man is said to "find" a wife, and that a wife is a good thing. The favor from the Lord part shows that, yes, God is the One who ultimately gives the wife, but it is still our job as men to be proactive in the finding process.

This made me consider how willing I am to "be found." A Christian friend recently cranked up the Natasha Bedingfield song "Single" and said, "This is our song." The first verse captures the essence of the song:

I'm not waitin' around for a man to save me.
(Cause I'm happy where I am.)
Don't depend on a guy to validate me.
(No, no.)
I don't need to be anyone's baby.
(Is that so hard to understand?)
No I don't need another half to make me whole.

I gently encouraged my friend that perhaps this shouldn't be our anthem. Such defiance toward men is not helpful or godly. The truth is, God created men and women each with something valuable to offer the other. If single women want men to find them, they need to quit playing hide-and-seek.

Comments

[1. LA said the following at 11:35 PM on Dec 7:]

1

I pretty much agree. But I'd like to touch on an underlying issue here...

I think there is a balance - or perhaps a necessary tension - between the "Only God can make me whole" and "Women and men need each other to complement each other" sides...

As sinful humans there is something (more obvious to some than others) lacking. As sinful humans we are not whole. There is a wholness that comes from God through His gift of salvation and the process of bringing us where we were meant to be. We can't try to make a person of the opposite sex fill a need only God can.

On the other hand, even before sin entered the world God said that it was "not good for man to be alone." God created us for human interactions and relationships.

There's a tension, a good and necessary tension, here.

[2. Emily said the following at 9:00 AM on Jun 4:]

2

I took those lyrics a totally different way. It sounds more like confidence to me...not defiance toward men.

[1. LA said the following at 11:35 PM on Dec 7:]

1

I pretty much agree. But I'd like to touch on an underlying issue here...

I think there is a balance - or perhaps a necessary tension - between the "Only God can make me whole" and "Women and men need each other to complement each other" sides...

As sinful humans there is something (more obvious to some than others) lacking. As sinful humans we are not whole. There is a wholness that comes from God through His gift of salvation and the process of bringing us where we were meant to be. We can't try to make a person of the opposite sex fill a need only God can.

On the other hand, even before sin entered the world God said that it was "not good for man to be alone." God created us for human interactions and relationships.

There's a tension, a good and necessary tension, here.

[2. Emily said the following at 9:00 AM on Jun 4:]

2

I took those lyrics a totally different way. It sounds more like confidence to me...not defiance toward men.