I’m writing this post from the amazing city of New York. The funny thing about this city is that my love for it varies depending on the time of day. For example, last night I loved walking around as soon as I arrived and finding some good food. But then when I was woken up unnecessarily early this morning by the construction worker outside belting out his favorite song in Spanish, well, the NYC love took a hit.
Ok but serenading construction workers aside, this is an awesome city. That really has nothing to do with the rest of my post but I just thought it would be fun to share.
It’s been a while since I’ve posted, but there’s something I’ve really been thinking about of late. It’s a lyric I heard recently written by musician James Hetfield. In the song “Low Man’s Lyric,” he sings this line:
My eyes seek reality. My fingers feel for faith.
The line really struck me the first time I heard it, and while it’s written in the context of a song about a man who has reached rock bottom, I think it’s an honest expression that many of us can relate to even if things aren’t going terribly.
So often in life I try to find a tangible outworking of some things. I want reality to be what I can see. I don’t want to think about the reality that is taking place beyond what I can see or know. “My eyes seek reality.” But that’s not always how it works.
His line on faith resonates with me even more – faith is easiest when I can feel it and many times because of that I expect my faith to line up with my emotions. “My fingers feel for faith.” But the truth is that the very nature of faith often requires me to trust despite how I feel. Like love, faith is so much more than just a feeling. That’s what makes it so beautiful, but it’s also why there are some days it requires more thought and effort.
Have you ever felt like the line Hetfield penned? Are there days where you’re searching for reality or can’t “feel” your faith? How do you work through those moments, or what have you learned through them?
Whenever something explicit or vulgar shows up in public, and some people object, you can always count on other people to come back with one line: "If you don't like to see it, just don't look at it."
But, of course, it's not that simple. Because it's everywhere now. So much so that even jaded media types are taking note. And they're not loving what they're seeing.
Take today's Washington Post story on "second-hand porn" -- AKA "drive-by porn" -- which is getting worse now that everyone carries video screens in public. Reporter Monica Hesse can't contain her revulsion. A sample passage:
Those afflicted with secondhand porn say it's not that they oppose adult entertainment. The trouble was knowing that they couldn't escape it, not until the plane landed or the Metro doors opened.
That, and the general haze of gross that seemed to descend on the public space, the filmy yuckiness that made them wish the sprinkler system would spontaneously activate.
That, and the feeling that came with knowing exactly what was on their neighbor's mind.
"At some point," Hesse quotes an English professor/mother as saying, "we've completely lost the ability to tell when it's socially appropriate and when it's not."
How did we get here? Go back to that earlier line: "Those afflicted with secondhand porn say it's not that they oppose adult entertainment...."
Well, they should oppose it. (And without using euphemisms like "adult entertainment.") Because that's where the problem started -- with a collective refusal to be "judgmental" toward "private" behavior. Once a society abandons the very idea of binding moral standards, the rampant pollution of "private" vice inevitably gets into the public air, and it keeps building till we're all choking on it.
So let's start a clean-up operation. Yes, I know: It seems hopeless. So what? Do it anyway. There are a countless everyday ways to make a start. I once saw an obscene T-shirt in the window of a Spencer Gifts. I urged the clerk to get it out of the window. He did. This hardly took a herculean effort: It took two minutes.
Holiday Hype -- 0:00 I'm starting to get a little anxious about all the things I need to do to get ready for the holiday season. And an anxious spirit is the antithesis of the kind you're supposed to have this time of year. So what are some steps we can take to minimize the distractions and maximize faith, family, and friends? Well, you can listen to this podcast for starters. This week, Lisa, Candice and Steve talk about being intentional as we approach Thanksgiving and Christmas.
The Screwtape Interview, Part 2 -- 15:32 Is C.S. Lewis's The Screwtape Letters relevant for this generation? It's a question Lisa discusses with the producer and director of Focus on the Family Radio Theater's audio production of the Lewis classic. (Btw, I need to plug the audio bumpers again this week. I think you're really going to like them. Pay close attention to the times after the titles because that's exactly where you can begin the audio clips.)
Purity Ring Fakeout -- 31:52 When people see a ring on your ring finger, there's a chance they'll assume you're married. And if you don't have a ring on your ring finger, there's a chance people will assume you're not married. In this week's Inbox, Candice Watters addresses both issues and the consequences of being irresponsible ring wearers and non-wearers.
A few nights ago I was talking with a friend -- we'll call her Jenny -- who has been spending some time with a certain single guy. They have mutual friends. He's new to her small town and doesn't know many people. And they share some common interests. Now, under ordinary circumstances, you might think this friendship has the potential for more. The thing is, this guy -- we'll call him James -- though very nice, is not a believer.
Because they don't share their faith in common, Jenny has looked upon her relationship with James as just a good friendship. In fact, as far as I can tell, her emotions have not slipped into entertaining even an inkling of romantic inclination. However, as all good male-female friendships tend to go, Jenny and James recently reached a crossroads in their friendship.
Jenny called to tell me that James has recently been releasing little flirty comments into the text-o-sphere. For example, "My friends asked me where my 'girlfriend' was tonight." And that wasn't the first time he'd dropped the g-word (girlfriend). Jenny asked me how she should broach the subject with James of her personal conviction not to date unbelievers.
This made me think of the times I have handled -- sometimes badly -- this situation. One time, at a party, a friend of a friend asked me if I would like to go out on a date. Knowing that he wasn't a Christian, I unfortunately blasted him with my bluntness: "I'm flattered, but I only date Christians."
After an awkward, squirming moment, he uncomfortably said, "And I'm definitely not one." Then he made an excuse to exit stage right. I knew the moment the words left my mouth that I hadn't been a great testimony in my response. At the same time, I couldn't think of what else to say. I'd told the truth.
Several years later, I found myself in a similar situation. I had struck up a friendship with a guy who was not a Christian, and he began making it clear that he had dating on his mind. This time I sent an e-mail, explaining that I had picked up on his attentions toward me and that I took dating seriously and considered a shared faith the most important factor. He took it well, and our friendship continues to this day.
If you hold the conviction not to date unbelievers, how do you communicate this in a graceful way? (For a primer on why shared faith is a biblical principle for relationships, I recommend Carolyn McCulley's article "Same-Lord Relationships.")
Thankfully, the day after we spoke, Jenny had a great opportunity to talk about her faith and view on relationships with James before he even asked her on a date. "I think he understood where I'm coming from and won't ask me out," she said. Now she is excited about the opportunity to be a testimony to James of what it looks like to be a godly, intentional single. How have you handled romantic offers from those who don't share your faith? How can Christian singles express grace in the turndown?
The World Wide Web has become the hottest place to build a church. A growing number of congregations are creating Internet offshoots that go far beyond streaming weekly services.
The sites are fully interactive, with a dedicated Internet pastor, live chat in an online "lobby," Bible study, one-on-one prayer through IM and communion. (Viewers use their own bread and wine or water from home.) On one site, viewers can click on a tab during worship to accept Christ as their savior. Flamingo Road Church, based in Cooper City, Fla., twice conducted long-distance baptisms through the Internet.
Zoll writes that advocates feel that the internet is "just another neighborhood where real relationships can be built" and that they feel "a religious duty to harness this new way for reaching the spiritually lost."
"We live in a day and age and a culture where people go to school online, bank online, date online and do other things online," said Kurt Ervin, who oversees the Internet campus for Central Christian Church, based in Henderson, Nev. "Why not create a platform for them to go to church online?"
Still, the author writes, "the staunchest critics say that true Christian community ultimately requires in-person interaction."
One of those critics is Mark Olson who, over at Evangel, lists three features of worship that virtual churches lack, and why we should be concerned about them.
Sacrifice. Olson writes, "The service is our offering to God and part of that sacrifice to God is of our time and our presence. Reducing that sacrifice to sitting before your computer screen in your proverbial pajamas certainly severely diminishes if not eliminates the sacrifice involved."
Holiness. "For myself, I fail to see how participation and contact with the Holy can be done by wire."
Contact with the liturgy and with the community. "We have 5 senses. A virtual service may serve, poorly, two (hearing and sight) ... man, created in the image of God is not purely rational and the organism and the meat of us is part of that image."
I think Olson makes some good points. For me lately, though, I've found the importance of the side-by-side church in its messiness.
My church and I are just going through a rough period right now. We're disagreeing on decisions. We're on different pages on program priorities. We're, too often, misunderstanding each others intentions and motives. And, sometimes, we're just annoying each other.
So much so that a few times in the past year I've wondered where that church that I have loved and treasured so much for the last seven years has gone.
It hasn't been fun or easy. But it has forced me to ask some tough questions. Could it be that God is allowing this time to work out my sanctification? Have I taken for granted the easier times? Am I just too spoiled to stick with it during the "bear with one another" times? Is there some serious selfishness that needs shaving off of me that only reveals its head during frustration?
I don't know all the answers, of course. I just know that when I rub shoulders with my fellow believers I have gotten both blessings and blisters -- and it could be that God is using both to mold me.
It seems a bit strange to me that I would come to treasure my church for the, shall I say, just "yuck" that we're going through. Stranger still that I would argue for the side-by-side church because of the "yuck" we have to go through sometimes. Still, I know, that online I can be polished and edited and not be bothered. But it's the bothering me -- it's the blisters -- that God is using the most right now. And I don't get that virtually.
Today is Veteran’s Day, the day we set aside to honor all those who have worn our country’s uniform.
We are engaged in two hot wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. The skill and dedication of our frontline medical personnel are saving more lives than ever, but the result is wounded veterans coming home and having to learn to live with horrific wounds that would have killed soldiers in earlier wars.
If a war might be said to have a signature wound, today’s would be missing limbs and severe brain injury due to these wars’ unique weapon: the improvised explosive device. The concussive violence of an artillery shell or a few pounds of C4 going off anywhere near you is unimaginable to those who haven’t experienced it. (Forget what you’ve seen in Hollywood.) Even for soldiers who escape without an obvious scratch, that concussion can do severe damage to soft tissues, particularly the brain.
The Veteran’s Administration, while often doing great work, has at times also shown scandalous neglect. Fortunately, the Washington Post exposé is improving the lot of our wounded warriors. But there’s more than needs to be done in terms of long-term care, and that’s where you come in.
Project Valour-IT raises money to provide wounded men and women with technology to help them heal and adapt to life after their wounds. Voice-controlled laptops, operated by speaking into a microphone or using other adaptive technologies, allow the wounded to maintain connections with the rest of the world.
Wii video game systems increase motivation and speed recovery when used under the guidance of physical therapists. And handheld GPS devices build self-confidence and independence by compensating for short-term memory loss and organizational challenges related to traumatic brain injury.
Project Valour is having a fund-raising challenge that runs through the end of today, Nov. 11, 2009. But even if you come to this page after that time, you can still donate. I know times are tough and money can be short, but if you want to say thanks to a veteran who was willing to give his or her life to protect your freedom, please consider sending a donation their way.
Relationships -- at least successful ones -- are full of give and take, adaptability and compromise. Most of us have heard jokes about leaving the seat up or whether the toilet paper should roll "over" or "under," but sometimes those annoying little habits can turn into romantic dealbreakers when one or both parties refuses to change even a little bit.
I remember several years ago having a conversation with a single coworker about the available bachelors we both knew. She was in her mid- to late-20s at the time, and I mentioned a never-married guy who was probably pushing 40. While this young woman was eager to meet that special someone, she still seemed hesitant. Pressed further, she said it wasn't the age difference that concerned her, it was the fact that this man -- nice as he was -- had spent more than half his life as a single adult.
"Most men that age," she said, "are too set in their ways."
She wasn't opposed to dating somewhat older men, she said, but experience had taught her that many longtime bachelors have developed habits they are reluctant or even unwilling to alter. Simply put, when you've lived on your own for some 20 years, you're bound to settle into a routine or two or 27.
I've made sweeping generalizations before, so I'm not about to do so now. Besides, since I got married at 26, I'm not able to address this topic based on my own experience. So I'll ask you, dear Boundless readers -- do you agree with this sentiment? Do you think that singles, male or female, become more resistant to change as they get older?
Now, lest you think of this post as yet another depressing reminder from Boundless of how hard it is to find a spouse once you've passed age 40, I hereby give you hope: Remember that coworker who passed on dating the fortysomething guy? Well, that same man later met a single mom with two kids and is now very happily married.
Did he likely have to make a few compromises as he made the transition from bachelor to husband and father? No doubt he did, but isn't that what healthy relationships are all about?
This is a photo of my dorm room here at Loma Linda University in Southern California.
I'm currently a student here in Occupational Therapy. I miss my family and friends back in Fresno, CA but I am so grateful and excited about being here :D
I often listen to Boundless podcasts here on my laptop on the weekends, and I am a daily reader of the Boundless Line.
Thank you for what you do! Boundless has been a wonderful resources for me (and my boyfriend) and I love telling people about you whenever I get the chance.
A few days ago, Ted did a post about grammatical abominations like "I could care less." I wanna play too. Only with a twist. I don't want to talk about grammar. I want to talk about the most abused words in the language -- the ones that have had their proper meaning most badly warped.
Take "adult" -- as in "adult movie." Could you get the meaning of the word more backwards? A Calvin and Hobbes strip captured it best. Calvin's looking at an ad for a movie with "adult situations" and wonders what that means. Hobbes speculates: "Probably things like going to work, paying bills and taxes, taking responsibilities...." (Then Hobbes wonders how these movies make any money.)
Or take "lovers." Typically, that means people having sex who aren't married -- at least not to each other. But what's love -- real love, not lust or passion -- got to do with that? The proper, non-prettified language here would be (to haul out some useful, biblical-style words) "fornicators" or "adulterers." Real love flows from God's love; it doesn't fly in the face of His Word.
DTSR (Defining The Sushi Relationship)
We should just establish it now. Our sushi relationship can't be exclusive. I just can't limit myself to one person. Believe me, it's not you...it's me. I mean, I like eating sushi with you, but I'm still young and I don't want to miss the possibility of other sushi relationships. We both need to move forward without feeling guilty. Please, just be careful as you're trying new rolls. I would hate for you to have an "Chili Roll" experience with someone else.
My heart (and stomach) will go on.
* * *
In case there is any doubt, this DTSR was a joke penned in jest by a witty pal. As a fun gesture, this particular friend (with whom I used to have sushi once or twice a quarter) presented our sushi bonus buy card to my husband as part of our wedding gift.
I'm not going to lie. It was my first thought after seeing the alleged gunman's name, Nidal Malik Hasan, appear in the initial reports of the murderous rampage at Fort Hood that left 13 dead and 30 wounded. I sort of expected to see news trickle in confirming my suspicions. But it didn't.
It seems the mainstream media (as well as Army spokespersons) would rather reflexively rule out Islamic terrorism than let anyone consider the possibility.
I don't know, maybe conjecture about motives is unwise when reporting on something like this. Though I saw a lot from the MSM about the gunman not wanting to be deployed and being teased because he was a Muslim.
The news is only now starting to trickle in about possible motives related to his Islamic beliefs. Eyewitness accounts verify that he praised Allah shouting "Allahu Akbar!" just before he opened fire on unarmed soldiers. And he was already under investigation from Federal authorities for comparing Islamic suicide bombers to soldiers who throw themselves on grenades to give their lives for their comrades. (More here.)
I know that none of this means definitively that this was an act of terrorism. We should pause while all the facts are gathered. But I can't help but think that ignoring the obvious is reflective of a society still unwilling to face the fact that there are Muslims living here who want to kill Americans in the name of Jihad.
And in case you think I'm being unfair to Muslims, consider the post-9/11 evidence of plots and attacks blogged about here by National Review's Victor David Hansen.
At the end of his of post, Hansen wonders how many more attacks against our soldiers and innocent civilians it will take before Americans begin resenting "the disconnect between what they are told to think and what they believe, on the basis of some evidence."
Last night I was chatting with a friend who is going through a painful break-up. As we talked about the loss he was feeling, he said, "I just don't want to be alone." None of us do.
I remember reading an article about loneliness a few years ago. The article talked about the decline of friendship in American society:
In Norman Rockwell's classic 1943 painting, "Freedom from Want," an extended family is gathered around the table to celebrate a holiday feast. Fast-forward 63 years to Thanksgiving [this year] and — while lack of food is still a problem for too many in this land of plenty — you are much more likely to find want of a different kind. More and more Americans are starving for significant relationships.
The article highlights a study published by the American Sociological Review that shows a "remarkable drop in the size of people's core network of confidants — those with whom they could talk about important matters." Twenty-five percent of Americans reported having no confidants at all — up from 10 percent in 1985. The article relates this trend to the decrease of marriage:
Perhaps the same thing that is sabotaging marriage is undermining friendship: our increasing unwillingness to commit to relationships that require sacrifice, mutual accountability, and a generous share of humility. That refusal is often not so much willful as fearful.
People may fear the commitment friendship entails, but they remain fascinated with it. The long-standing popularity of TV programs such as Cheers, Friends, and now Grey's Anatomy — which portray the lives of people in multilayered friendships — signals that fascination.
These types of friendships can be hard to come by in real life, but as followers of Jesus we have greater access to meaningful relationships through the body of believers. What would happen if we extended that family feeling to those who are suffocating from loneliness? Reaching the lost, the article points out, may be as simple as being a friend.
"God sets the lonely in families, he leads forth the prisoners with singing." —Psalm 68:6
First off, Boundless is awesome and so full of great resources and great people.
I am in Calgary, Alberta Canada nursing and loving it. I am on a journey of faith in following the call of God on my life to help in bringing new life into the world. Yes, you might have guessed it -- helping deliver babies. What an awesome opportunity and complete blessing!
I am excited to be starting my masters in nursing to become a midwife, a dream that was planted a while ago. God however loves to stretch us and mould us and teach us patience and dependence before he always gives us the desires of our hearts. I am excited for the journey and where it will lead, but I have a faithful and trusted shepherd.
Thanks for all that this web ministry does to bring people with similar beliefs and love for Christ together.
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